Going Insane - 12 DPO

So I haven't started AF yet, I got about 7 hours of sleep last night and then took a 3 hour nap with E.M. and I'm still exhausted but I am cooking dinner (vegitarrian meatloaf, yummy!).

Anyway my dull back pain is way worse, about 3/4th of what it was last week (Thursday or Friday) when I thought the egg may have started the implantation ...cramps aren't really cramps (like I explained last night).

Last night my cervix had dropped, was firm, and slightly open -- like it was preparing for AF. This morning it was higher, softer, and shut. So I am happier about that... I was really freaked last night. :(

My temp is still above coverline.... if my temp stays up for 2 to 4 more days it should be a good indicator that I am knocked up. Also, if last night/yesterday was the end of implantation (when bleeding will occur) my HCg levels will rise over the next 3 to 7 days and hopefully if no AF appears will give me a positive test.

This am was negative, not testing tomorrow, testing wenesday if no AF, not testing Thursday unless I get a faint line Wenesday, and testing Friday and not on Saturday unless I get a faint line on Friday. :)

I would be more at ease if I wasn't jumping up every 10 to 30 minutes to a. go pee and b. check that the "gushing" feeling at my crotch isn't gushing blood! :(
So that's all for now, I will keep you updated!