8 DPO

Ok Im convinced I am going to start AF early.
I'm having AF cramps :(

All I keep reminding myself is:
We weren't expecting to conceive this month -- you were expecting AF so there is no need to be upset! :)

Yes, now to continue telling myself that and make my back stop aching.
At least as soon as I start I can take some fricken' motrin for the cramps/back ache! :)

Yes, I must continue to find the positives in all of this... right?!

...Oh if it's any consolation I had a mid-grade fever 99.something yesterday and today a bit of a dip -- I am still about my coverline though... and I read somewhere if you remain above your coverline for 10+ days you're pregnant or ill... meh.

And...for some reason I can't stop reading about testing (it's all I can do to not go waste another test by testing too early...) and I read that you can get a + result as early as 9dpo if you were to implant at 6 or 7 dpo.... and IF we conceived this cycle I am assuming the raise in temp with slight drop this morning and back pain was implantation.... if not I am assuming I will get AF early this cycle... I'm feeling very AFish.

I guess I will just have to force myself to remain somewhat patient and just wait it out -- there is nothing else to do! :)

Meds: (I hadn't taken anything since Wenesday night when I applied the lidocaine lotion!)
1pm - Sulfadiazine Cream 50GM thin layer on each shoulder


-Jess

Mom Called

And asked how I was feeling. Creepy. Very creepy.

It was sweet though... she said something I have never heard her say before... to me or E.M. that is... "I support you both even though I don't know how you feel about the situation" (The using donor sperm, the stress of actually TTC and not just doing the "hanky panky", etc.

Yes, that was the whole reason I updated! :)


-Jess

7 DPO! I caved...

Ok first of all I know when I am suppose to test!
IF all the horrid back pain yesterday was from implantation (As it has seemed to lessen quite dramatically today!) I wont receive a positive test until AT LEAST Monday. But I tested today reguardless... I had a dream it came out "unknown" (digital - which i refuse to buy until I take like 20 walmart brand ones -- ok maybe not 20) Anyway so I got up and had to pee horridly.... I dont think ive peed that much ever unless I had had to hold it ALL day!

Anyway I knew itd be negative and it was. I tossed it out. After all I am only 7 DPO! Good news? Even though I wasted a test this will keep me at bay until Monday or so... as like mentioned yesterday I will NOT test on the weekend because I cannot take the chance of being distracted while rehersing. :)

So that's that. BFN ....funny, it was an expected BFN so I am perfectly okay with it -- I am not upset because I know there is a good chance it is a false BFN.

Other than that I am feeling fine this morning... I got up at 1230p and am letting E.M. sleep until about 4pm if he wants... that will give him some much needed zzz's (about 8 hours, roughly triple what he is use to! :) )

So that's it... minimal back pain (although I am sneezing!) and a slight headahe but nothing near as severe as yesterday! :)

Ok I will update later!!


-Jess

Still Can't Sleep

I found this interesting:

HPT Accuracy Results Percentages:
(Based on a 25mIU sensitive test)
10 dpo : 35%
11 dpo : 51%
12 dpo : 62%
13 dpo : 68%
14 dpo : 74%
15 dpo : 80%
16 dpo : 88%
17 dpo : 92%

...And all my HPT's are 25mIU sensitive! :)
I have 5.

So...
I was thinking I will test on Monday (11DPO)
If BFN I will test again on Wenesday if no AF (13DPO)
If BFN I will test again on Friday if no AF (15DPO)

If still BFN I will stop testing and await AF! :)
I don't care as long as she hurries up and gets here; there's always next month right?

I am trying very hard to not over analyze everything (some things you just can't ignore though: Brand new back pain i've never experienced, etc).

Anyway I am preparing to purchase more sperm next cycle and for AF to come on time on the 29th and still hoping (and praying) for a BFP.

I am also trying to NOT test on Saturday or Sundays since it'd be in the AM and I have rehersal at noon both days, every weekend for a play I am in... and I don't think I will be able to focus with a BFN fresh in my mind/memory! :(

Ok, done rambling... I think I will goto bed and wait on E.M.


-Jess

I'm Either Pregnant or I've Lost My Fucking Mind!

OK back story...
I hate roaches. The small ones Im not horrid with but anything bigger than a half inch and Im totally freaked out.

Ok, so I wasnt tired until 4am - I finally say good night to E.M. and head for bed -- I shut down the computer, go pee, put away any food I had out, and change the potty pad... well that was my first sign, piss on my floor and my fucking rug -- the only damned piece of carpet in the entire apartment and only 4 inches of it is showing!! And its pee'd on!

So I shove the dogs' noses in it, spank them and ban them to the livingroom. Fine!
Ok so 2 of the 3 kitties are in the room with me ...both watching a fly... or so I thought.
Then for some reason 10 minutes AFTER laying down I decide to see what theyre concentrating so hard on!

You guessed it - big old 1 inch roach!

So I basically went into hysteria.... Im sobbing and gagging and hyperventilating and tearing my apartment apart for the damn bug spray... I finally find it and 5 minutes later muster up the courage to murder the thing... still sobbing.

Then I run (sobbing) from the bedroom and now I am feeling really guilty because I locked my kitties in there and I can't stop crying.

And E just doesn't get it. :(


(I better be pregnant, otherwise I'm signing myself into a psych ward -- this is effin' ridiculous!)


-Jess

Backache & Meds

So this backache is only getting worse... its dull aching feeling in my mid to lower back still. :(

TMI:
I checked my cervix and it's high, firm, and closed....but it is also like... pointy... where the closed opening is... it's odd.
End TMI.

And then at 6pm
I put a thin layer of lidocaine lotion on each of my shoulders.

I also took a nap -- something I don't ever do. It was about an hour and a half long and I am still exhausted.


-Jess

6 DPO and Medications

E.M. went out and got me the lidocaine lotion :)
So...
1135a
-1 600MG Motrin
-Applied a thin layer of Lidocaine HCI 3% Lotion to the tops of my shoulders
-A thin layer of the Silver Sulfadiazine Cream 50GM also on top of my shoulders.

And that is helping so so so much! It isn't even funny -- we should have gone to the doctor on Sunday! Gee! I totally suffered for absolutley no reason! :(

Super tired today but I am chalking that up to the Vicodin last night. Not nauseaus until I swallow the prenatals and even then it is minimal -- I am crossing my fingers for implantation bleeding this week! That is like a early red flashing sign "hey you're knocked up!" haha. Oh and I also have some lower....well no... more like middle-back pain and only on the left side?!

Anyway that's about all for an update -- I know I am super boring lately.
Oh well, more to come as always!


-Jess

5DPO & Med List for own Reference.

So... I wasn't suppose to go anywhere Saturday... but we did. We went to pride -- I was going stir crazy and there is a GOOD possibility that if I receive a BFP I will be put on strict bedrest. :(

So we went out to Pride and only stayed there about 3 hours - I sat down a lot and we took it very slow... however I received a rather BAD sunburn that I self diagnosed last night as 2nd degree. It is super red (redder than my beautiful couch) and has bad blisters.

Because of the blisters I knew this meant it burned down to the blood vessels and I was risking infection. So we went to urgent care this afternoon and saw a doctor. I wore a button down and my face and arms are pink....well, really more like cherry red. But they don't hurt and haven't blistered. I was sitting there explaining to the doctor that I wouldn't normally come in but this is the worst sun burn ive ever had and all he can see is the cherry pink skin color and I see him thinking "seriously? that's a 1st degree burn" so I take my shirt off and his face totally dropped... It's a pretty bad 2nd degree burn. He said he had no problem giving my pain meds and it doesn't look infected (yet) but he still wanted me to do some antibiotics just incase. Then I explained I'm trying to get pregnant and their is a possibility I could be and I only wanted Class A or B drugs if at all possible. (( Drugs are classified for Pregnancy as A,B,C,D or X ...A being not harmful at all [benadryl] and X being very harmful, causing fetal demise or miscarriage )) And I was worried he would judge me (Afterall he had my birthdate in front of him) but he wasnt! It was great. Instead of prescribing me Tylenol #3 with Codeine or Percocet he told me it's quite commong to prescribe vicodin during pregnancy and as long as I don't over take it it should be fine! :) He even offered to give me a pregnancy test! I nicely declined and explained I am only 5DPO and he agreed itd come up negative even if I am positive since it more than likely hasn't implanted yet. I think he was confused (or releived) that I knew what I was talking about as far as only requesting class A or B drugs. He did explain that Ib Prophin (which he prescribed) isn't considered harmful in the early stages of pregnancy and I could take it to releive the swelling in my shoulders. He also prescribed me Silver Sulfadiazine Cream (50GM) for an antibiotic since it's topical vs. a pill that could affect baby! :) Last but not least he also prescribed me a topical lidocaine cream but the pharmacy was out of it so they ordered it for morning! He was really great and asked me to come back for a follow up on Thursday to make sure it was healing properly because he expects it to continue blistering for the next 24 hours! :(

Anyway anytime I take anything I am logging it here so I can scribble it down for my first OB Appt. when I get a BFP.

730P
1 Vicodin (hydrocodone/Apap) 5mg/500mg
1 Motrin 600MG
1 Thin Layer of Silver Sulfadiazine Cream 50GM (on top of shoulders)


Other than that I can't tell if anything else is odd or off because I am rather drugged... it's the first time I haven't been in severe pain in a few days.

Oh, one other thing my blood pressure read 146/98 this afternoon... odd for me because I normally am able to maintain a BP close to the normal 120/60 :(
We will watch it! :)


-Jess

Tired & Gassy

So I am super gassy.... like burping 2 to 4 times an hour and lots of ...um... farting. :(

On top of that Ive only been up 6 hours and I am so friggen tired it isn't funny.... this cycle is kicking my ass... seriously. :(

:crosses fingers for BFP!:

Just documenting anything out of the ordinary so that IF the test is a BFP I can right out a day by day of symptoms and temps for next preg :)

I will probably do this every cycle... And E.M. and I decided that during our 2ww we will do puzzles! One per 2ww! Right now we are doing a 750 piece jigsaw puzzle his mom gave us a year or so ago! :) It's frustrating enough to take my mind mostly off the 2ww... obviously not at this moment as I continue to blab about it.

I guess I am anxious to test but at the same time I'm not because I don't want to see a BFN. Does that make any sense?? Ahh, oh well.


-Jess

4 DPO

4 DPO and I slept 11 hours last night which was odd.
No more cramps as of lately just achey.

And my boobs are still hurting.... so much so I slept in a sports bra last night (something that doesn't ever happen). :)

I keep tell E.M. it's JUST ovulation stuff....nothing special.
I'm so so so afraid to get excited because I have such a feeling the test will be a BFN (which is the main reason we are waiting until the 28th or 29th to test... I don't want to have to keep wondering! (28th is the day I am expecting my AF and 29ths is one day after, if I am feeling no signs of AF I will test on the 28th if I have symptoms I will take a warm bath and see if I can induce AF vs testing, wasting a test and still receiving a BFN).

:sigh:
I'm secretley hoping AF isn't coming this month but I honestly don't know -- I feel different but who knows if that means pregnancy their's a good chance I could be completley imagining all the "symptoms".


-Jess

OUCH!! (TMI Warning)

Ouch, my breasts are painful this evening. We are only 3 dpo ...but this isn't normal for me. Normally my chest aches when touched or groped directly before ovulation (and it did, then stopped and started again today). This is weird though, they are really heavy feeling and just...painful... also E.M. decided to point out this evening that the aeriola is darker and my nipples larger.... overall the breast looks swollen. It might just be a really really odd symptom from ovulating.

I noticed today that if I eat more then 10 bites per meal I get queasy...also a weird thing.
Other than that I am feeling perfectly normal. :)

That's the update :P