WTF?

Am I seriously laying here sobbing over skype?
Really?
Wtf is wrong with me??


-Jess

Gah.

So I can't sleep...I'm tired, kind of but I can't sleep...and I don't know why.
I also started sobbing over a prayer I read on one of the fertility sites I'm on...it was rather pathetic (me sobbing, not the prayer).

Yea...so.... I don't know.... Im having an argument over yahoo messenger with E.M. about nonsense. Baiscally we are arguing over having a real argument in person because he's never home. Seriously, the most I've seen him in about a month has been for rehersal on Saturdays and for the inseminations this cycle...

I'm trying to be nice and explain I miss him....a lot. I'm trying not to be clingy, or immature about the situation. I *know* I can't have my way....I know he is being responsible and taking care of us and finishing school and making it so that we can try for a baby and I can stay home and not stress.... so why am I in tears? I mean...I miss having a fight in person.... that's pretty pathetic. I miss his kisses, him cuddling me, him holding me and touching my tummy.... I miss it all. I miss him in general.

Gah...and on top of this stupid emotional crap I have cramps and lots of lower back pain :(


-Jess

2 Week Wait...and Paranoia!!!

So I am pretty calm and relaxed.... I decided to try and figure out when I can pee.... since I really really need to. Well... Ive been laying with my legs up, butt propped for about an hour and 15 minutes and I won't move for another 45 minutes....and then it will just be on my side...

So I was googling how long to wait before peeing, and everything I read says it doesn't matter if you pee 10 minutes or 2 hours after insemination because your uretha is different from the cervix where the sperm go... Okay, fine.

Do I listen?
Nope. Still laying here with my butt propped up for another 45 minutes! Paranoid? Probably.

Anyway I started reading all these things women do during the 2WW ...paranoid things. Sadly I've totally started doing them >.<

-Not scooping kitty box (DF's job now!)
-Not wearing tight pants.
-Trying to lay on left side or back only!
-Refusing to lift anything heavier than 4 lbs.
-Staying over hydrated.
-Not peeing afte insemination.
-Triple checking the positive OPT results.

There are loads more online but those ones fit us perfectly so far! :)


-Jess

de ja vue

I'm laying on my back again ...this time alone as E.M. took James home! :)
We inseminated at 345p for a second time.... so 3 hours after 1st OPT +... and then 8 hours after second OPT+ (21 hours after 1st OPT+).

We went to Babies R Us for a little fun shopping.... picked up some toy keys and a Baby On Board magnet :) We actually meant to spend 100$ (the Rent.com Visa card I just got) but James had to get back home for some family issues.... so we sped it up and instead of putting the few things down just took it out of the checking account -- reasoning behind this is I read the fine print on the papers that come with the visa card and they charge 2$ for EACH transaction as well as $5 for each month there's a balance on it >.< So we want to spend it this month, all at once... we may just use it for the dresser! :)

OH!!! We got the rocker! Good condition, super comfy and it looks nice in the livingroom... only flaws are typical wear "cracks" but nothing that wouldn't have happened from typical wear and tear on a new one.... when I am allowed to get out of bed I will take pictures :)

That's all for now!


-Jess

Hoping.

Here's to hoping the next 12 days go by quickly with no sign of AF! :)

Anyway, I guess I am on a journey to find a good board to post on...it seems like all but one has LOADS of drama and judging. :sigh:

So I don't really know the "real" plan for the day but I know that Em is showering and James and I are sitting here talking... about the baby.

After E.m is done bathing we will eat probably and then inseminate then store and take him home and then grab the chair and come home! :)


-Jess

TTC

So we just ttc this evening with insemination number 1!! Ive been in bed since 930pm "taking it easy" so as to keep Em satisfied that we are doing all we can to encourage implantation.

:sigh:

Wouldn't it be great if this round stuck??
No pesky repeat inseminations, no ordering from the bank....just a BFP.
Yes, I am fully aware that this is very, very wishful thinking and more than likely NOT likely.

We will inseminate once more tomorrow just to add to the little swimmers and give us a second shot.
Hopefully, something will stick....if not I am fully prepared to order frozen sperm next cycle AND drive my baby-makin' ass out to BFE to pick up our good friend to donate again! :)

So, I'm bored and tired and very much anticipating my AF ...but secretly praying she doesn't show.

I've been nauseus since 950p....
Hmm.....coinsidence or....?!


-Jess

Good News VS Bad News

Good News:
I just got a positive ov. test! Meaning tomorrow mornings will be pos. too and we can try tomorrow!!!!!!

and

Our rent.com 100$ reward visa card just came in the mail!! So we are totally gonna buy baby stuff with it!


Bad News:
Ethan was put in charge of maintaining our known-donors contact info. and it seems he has lost it. I'm trying not to be angry but it's getting increasingly harder.... >.< Such a little thing I put him in charge of and he can't handle it (yea, im annoyed....and frustrated).




-Jess

Buying our Rocker/Ottoman

So tomorrow we are going to pick up our rocker & ottoman... This month I was going to purchase our dresser but changed my mind when I found a neat rocker on CL for 75$ ....better yet? It has an ottoman. Even better? The guy is willing to accept $60!!!!

:dance:

-Jess

Temp & OPT

Negative... but darker! (Both last night and this morning!)

98.3 F at 830a when I awoke!!

And that's it... jee I hate hate hate waiting! :( So impatient. I hope our donor is a laid back patient guy cause I really don't want our child to be impatient....seriously I've tried to break myself of it but so far (20 years...) no luck!

Gah, :pokes belly: OVULATE!


-Jess

The Sims 3

Aside from baby stuff and wow and *Attempting* to be a wonderful sah wife to be.... I am anticipating the sims 3...



Yes, I said it. Im horrible. lol!
I just wanted to post the **official** countdown on my blog :)


-Jess

Temp // OPT

Last night's OPT was negative but a little darker than it's been.
This morning's was negative as well, same shade. :)

Temp was 98.1 -- back to normal.

And we received both of the AI kits this morning too!

So we are all set... it looks like I will get a positive OPT on Thursday or Friday.


:) Yes, We are thrilled. <3


-Jess

Temp & OPT's + small update.

Temp this AM was back to 98.2
A couple cups of water yesterday and a few today too (2 to 3)

Last night at 6p I did another OPT -- it was negative.
As was this mornings but I am seeing a visible line now! :)

Oh and last night I took my temp out of curiousity -- 99.9 >.<

Being sick while ovulating is NOT okay. Why didn't my body get that memo?!


We went through the DVD's yesterday and divided kid vs adult movies....put kid movies closer to the ground and adult movies higher up! Then we went ahead and sorted through the books on the 2nd bookcase and put some in a sell pile, a lot in the storage pile and then divided what was left between "kid" and "adult". Then moved the bookcase so that there is a place for the rocking chair and ottoman in the livingroom and put kid books lower to the ground and adult books higher. :)

Anyway nothing else to update.


-Jess

Same Old Same Old

Temp: 97.2 (yea talk about a dip... wtf?!)
Water intake yeserday - 2 cups (24 oz...I hate water ><) + 2 water bottles (16oz each?) I started charting everything of FF so when I have patience to search how to add the chart I will.... or at least a link to the chart. TMI Warning: (Talk of cervical mucus and the likes...) Another negative this morning but my Cervix raised and began to open (was partially open last night before bed, but was still low) this morning it was higher and open the same amount but now medium instead of firm! Also mucus is becoming white and creamy but is still definitley sticky. Once agan all logged on the chart! :) TMI Warning Over. lol.


-Jess