How We *Think* Children Will Change Our Relationship

I posted the following on thenest.com on the SSH board.... it was a response to someone else's post.... I just don't want it to get lost in the load of responses/posts to come... It's something I would like to be able to refer back to. :)

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E.M.'s take on how children will change our relationship: "I honestly think they will bring us closer; because we will have to work together on a lot of it; a lot of what we do now we can do on our own. It's part of us, it's ours"

My take on how children will change our relationship: I am not too sure, I know E.M. and I have spoken about making it a point to have dinner as a family every evening. to not lose our sex life, to not stop talking about our days (Even if they do consist of laundry and diapers and finger painting!) We've also spoken about making sure we go out once a month after the baby is a few months old for "adult" time.... goto dinner, go dancing, get a hotel room. Mommy and Papa time. I worry sometimes because we do fight... things I think should be common sense (taking the trash out when you leave for instance) aren't always what's on his mind... I've had to learn to be a bit more flexible and realize it won't make the house colapse if the dishwasher isn't unloaded the day it runs or there are absolutley no marks on the hard wood floor. I've had to realize that I didn't fall in love with E.M. for his cleaning habits I fell in love with him for his personality and eagerness to do right in all he does... much like I am sure he has had to remind himself he didn't fall in love with me for my temper that can sometimes get out of hand but for the reasons he loves me. I think as you spend more and more time with someone you do indeed take for granted the little things.... you just have to sit down and take a deep breath and remember to be together.... to make the time to be with one another.... if we waited for time to appear in our schedules I wouldn't have seen him since 2 christmas' ago... I believe much of what we have learned since becoming a couple will apply with children... and as always we will learn as we go.